hello there, friend,
you know that i resist schedules and rigidity - it's part of my make-up. but, without them, i tend to flounder. my children are the same way. they love days without a schedule, but they are often disappointed at the end of the day if they didn't "do enough".
i listened to something recently about my enneagram type and found it so fascinating. it has to do with energy and the fact that many nines appear to have low energy. in fact, they derive some energy by simply avoiding tasks which they know need done, but don't want to do. in times of stress, they retreat and become even more less energetic, instead choosing to numb out or distract themselves in any number of ways. in times of growth, they are energized by intimate connection to the others and to the world, feeling fully alive.
this has been incredibly helpful for me to think about. i've often wondered, 'what's wrong with me?' and i'm just now starting to think instead about the unique ways in which we all live and function in this world. my strengths are many - and my weaknesses, once identified, are things that i can continue to learn and grow from.
xo,
b
