a big announcement!

Hello there, friends!

We made an exciting announcement this morning to our newsletter subscribers, and now it's time to tell the rest of the world:

We're turning hello there, friend into a collaborative blog
and we're launching this fall!

Yes, you read that right. We're coming back but the blog will be brand new. We've been emailing behind the scenes, brainstorming and dreaming about making changes while still keeping in the spirit of hello there, friend. We want more voices and perspectives, more stories and lots of gratitude. We're still working a lot of that out, but it's time to let the cat out of the bag.

And we wanted to let you know that we're still here! We're still excited about this project! We want to connect with you!

One way to do that is to sign up for our newsletter. We plan to use it to tell you about what's going on behind the scenes, what we're working on, and to give you our official launch date. 

We won't be posting on the blog, but we will pop into Instagram a few times a week to say hello (and tell you what we're grateful for). We'll share all our news and updates, and hopefully a few more goodies too.

So, hello again, friends! We're so happy to be back in this space with you.

xo,
beth + Lindsay

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Hello there, friends,

When we think about our project here at hello there, friend, our thoughts often going to noticing, paying attention, staying present in our lives, and letting go of what may no longer serve us. There's been lots of talk around here about letting go. And while we're not ready to let go of this project yet, we've decided it's time for us to take a break for a while, to let this space rest and give us a chance to reconnect to what we truly believe is good about our work here.

It's hard to make these kinds of decisions, but it's becoming exceedingly clear to us that a break is in order. We hope to be back, when our hearts are rested and our eyes are clear. This project has deepened our friendship, given us direction, and reminded us again and again that we're not alone. Our gratitude is overwhelming -- for you, for this project, for this life we share.

We hope to be back soon. Thank you for sharing this journey with us.

xo,
b + L

hello there, friend,

i met with a friend this morning for coffee. we met early after our kids got off to school and before we each started work. to say that i'm grateful for her friendship is an understatement. we talked about our kids, our struggles, caught up on the last few week's happenings and found ourselves musing as we often do on something that we continue to learn and relearn.

no matter what is happening, it won't last forever. i remember this realization when my kids were young. at first i thought they would never sleep through the night. i worried about it, asked my friends about their children, read books on sleep, and months later was worried about something else entirely - when to eat solid food, how to get them to nap, would they ever be potty-trained, would a certain one ever stop complaining about going to school - and on and on.

i try to remember this in these years of parenting teens because what you say is true. it's hard to know if or when something might happen for the last time - the last time i read out loud at bedtime, the last time either one of the 'littles' wants a kiss before bedtime. nothing lasts forever - whether it's the things we worry about or the things we hold dear.

xo,
b

Hello there, friend,

Very early this morning, I was awoken by a little voice, my son's, saying he was scared in his room. I pulled back the covers and he climbed into bed with me. He cuddled in as close as he could, pressed his body up to my torso and pulled up his knees. Every time this happens, I wonder how much longer he'll fit like this, his little body curving right into mine. I often think about what it'll be like when he grows taller than me. Will I remember this little boy who visited me in the middle of the night?

The only certainty is uncertainty, and I felt that as I walked him back to his room. I had gone to bed early last night, tired from a long day and anticipating another. Here I was, up in the middle of the night and when I returned to bed, I couldn't get back to sleep. Sometimes it's so overwhelming, not being able to control everything, including sleep. I try to have realistic expectations, but sometimes I wonder how any of us goes on, so tired, so overwhelmed.

But this morning, I came downstairs and started the coffee. I wrote in my journal for a bit, then the kids came out from breakfast. We kissed good morning and I turned on the music. Perhaps there's uncertainty under all of it, but some things remain the same -- the coffee is hot, the music is happy, we're starting the day together. Forget the bad night's sleep or the cold rain outside -- we're here. Today is another day.

xo,
L

hello there, friend,

just today i listened to a podcast in which it was said the only certainty is uncertainty. the context was a conversation about faith and the idea that at times, we might begin to question a particular belief or idea, which throws us into disequilibrium. whether it's our faith or our future, it can be hard to be in a place where we just don't know the answers.

human beings are hard-wired to crave certainty, which prompts us to think in terms of black and white, right and wrong, making us uncomfortable with uncertainty. that alone is comforting to me - that it's normal to want answers and structure and certainty.

so often, what i write about one day feels untrue and hypocritical the next. sometimes throughout the course of one day, i find so much contradiction in myself i wonder how to hold these various bits of me together. like you, i'm starting to understand how this is true for each of us - we are more alike than different - each sinner and saint, each full of love and longing for love, each certain of so much and uncertain, too.

xo,
b

Hello there, friend,

I've been thinking a lot about contradictions lately, and what we're talking about here is exactly that. We want things to be this or that. We want clear-cut lines, even though we know we'll never be able to fit into them. We are walking contradictions, all of us, and so often holding that tension is difficult. We do things we don't want (or don't mean) to do. We say we believe something, then do the opposite. We cower in the difficult choice, and even the not-so-difficult one.

It leads me to believe that I'm a big phony. What I'm learning, though, is that contradictions are not phoniness; they are our human reality. We have to accept ourselves as both honest and liars. We have to see that we that we both hold others close and also push them away. We can't help but contradict. It's human nature.

To me, this is why forgiveness is so important. I grew up in a family that never apologizes. To this day, it's one of my biggest irritants, that people wouldn't apologize when they're wrong or hurt someone else. We hurt each other and hurt ourselves; we can't help it. Because of that, we need to be gentle with each other and gentle with ourselves. I'm learning that every single day, holding the broken pieces of myself up to the light and saying it's okay if it doesn't all fit together because it all is part of me.

xo,
L

hello there, friend,

how grateful i am for your wise words, for the idea of seasons and the way life ebbs and flows. it's all more simple and complex that we can imagine. and sometimes i forget that i might be the one making it more complicated.

the imagery of being refined is so beautiful. to think of my life's journey as one in which i'm constantly being refined helps me better understand this idea of the longer view - the wider picture. not so much a destination as a process - as always in progress.

in addition to the quiet stillness of meditation, i've picked up my gratitude journal again. as things ebb and flow, so does my need for this reminder that i have all i need. that i am already blessed beyond measure. this is what i need to pay attention to in order to believe i am living with abundance and not scarcity. i begin this week in a different place than i ended last week... encouraged and grateful.

xo,
b

Hello there, friend,

What you say about being good enough versus striving for more make me think of the old saying that God loves you as you are but He refuses to leave you that way. There's a tension in it that can be hard to understand. How do we accept ourselves, but also strive to be better? Why can't we leave well enough alone?

I can give you the quick-and-dirty answer for myself. For me, the stakes have always felt high. My parents had a messy divorce; I was an angry, withdrawn kid. I didn't have a happy childhood and as a teenager, I knew any change in my life would have to come from within me. So, when I got married, I stepped away from that old story, and when I became a mother, I stepped even farther. But all of this stepping away actually brought me closer to myself -- to my anger and my pain, to letting go of who I was to become who I truly am.

The process of refining who I am, learning more and realizing I still have work to do is a part of life I've come to accept. It wasn't until the last couple of years that the idea of "good enough" even came into my scope of understanding. I've never felt good enough; I've always felt broken. Accepting myself as good enough has been more difficult than working through my issues.

I think the key is to think of it in seasons. There's a season of good enough and a season for working on ourselves. There's a season to press in and another to rest. If we slow down long enough to figure out which season we're in, maybe we can give ourselves the grace we need to be where we are, to let go of the striving in either season and simply be.

xo,
L

hello there, friend,

i have long struggled with personal development. on one hand, i've always been intrigued by it, wanting to understand myself a bit more, wanting to understand those around me and what makes them tick and on the other hand, feeling at times, that the pursuit of better is based on a core belief that i'm not good enough as i am. there is a fine line between seeking personal growth and change because it's the next right step in my journey and seeking it because i feel i'm lacking - although there is some value in that.

when you write about letting go - i wonder how to even do that? how do i let go of all the worry, fear, and questions i have? the striving for more and for better? why isn't right now good enough?

i don't have the answers, but know that when you said 'we don't have to try harder, we just need to let go.' that made perfect sense to me. i'm tired of trying, tired of working from a place of emptiness rather than fullness, tired of striving and feeling like i can't ever do enough.

xo,
b

Hello there, friend,

Over the weekend, I read an essay about Lent that's sticking with me. What we should give up for Lent, all of us, is our troubles, our idols, our striving. Lent is not about giving up chocolate or social media or anything tangible; it's about shifting our mindset from us to God. We don't have to try harder; we just need to let go.

Later that evening, I stood in the kitchen and burst into tears. I've been trying to sort things out within myself, trying to find a place where I can accept what's happened and what continues to happen in some of the more complex parts of my life. The weight of all of it pressed down hard on me.

I took a deep breath and tried to get myself together. As I did, I remembered one of my favorite poems (by David Whyte), one I'm sure I've shared with you before but I'm going to share again. Now whenever I think of it, I'll think of Lent, of letting go of that to which we don't belong in order to embrace where we do:

“You must learn one thing:
the world was made to be free in.

Give up all the other worlds
except the one to which you belong.

Sometimes it takes darkness and the sweet
confinement of your aloneness
to learn

anything or anyone
that does not bring you alive
is too small for you.”

xo,
L

hello there, friend,

i completely agree with you. i find after taking sundays off, i long for another day without distraction. monday comes too quickly and even though i used to see mondays as a fresh start, i find myself already counting the days until the next sunday.

taking a technology sabbath has left me thinking more about lent this year. in years past, i've given things up, but i remember hearing once that another way to think about lent is to make space for something else. if one of the main goals of lent is to deepen my faith - then i know i need to make time and space for it.

over the years, we've sat down as a family to talk about the idea of giving something up and the goal of deepening our faith. we had a conversation sunday about our ideas, tossing things back and forth to see what might stick. i've been wanting to start a meditation practice for some time, so instead of giving something up, i've decided to add meditation into my daily routine. there's something in me right now that longs for this kind of stillness and focus.

xo,
b

Hello there, friend,

Since I started making Sabbath part of my weekly life, Mondays have become hard. After resting all day Sunday, Monday can feel jarring. I'm usually ready to hit the ground running, but I often feel behind. I've figured out that spending Monday morning working and trying to get on track for the week is the best thing, but I still feel panicked sometimes. Today, in particular, I have more work to do than I'll have time for.

I do enjoy my Sabbath though. I like taking a break and giving myself a chance to take a step back and rest. A friend told me that if you work with your head, your Sabbath should be spent doing something with your hands (and vice versa). I've been thinking more about that, and trying to figure out what to do with my hands. Sew? Bake bread? Garden?

I've also been thinking about Lent, which begins on Wednesday. Every year, it feels like it sneaks up on me (I guess I'm not very good at following the liturgical calendar) and I wrestle with what to go give up. Last year, I stopped looking at my phone first thing in the morning, waiting until I had a cup of coffee in my hands until I allowed myself to check anything. This year, I'm not sure yet, but I have a few ideas. So much of life feels like giving up and adding on and trying to balance the two, but I know Lent is deeper and I'm hungry for something that will deepen my faith.

xo,
L

hello there, friend,

you know that i resist schedules and rigidity - it's part of my make-up. but, without them, i tend to flounder. my children are the same way. they love days without a schedule, but they are often disappointed at the end of the day if they didn't "do enough".

i listened to something recently about my enneagram type and found it so fascinating. it has to do with energy and the fact that many nines appear to have low energy. in fact, they derive some energy by simply avoiding tasks which they know need done, but don't want to do. in times of stress, they retreat and become even more less energetic, instead choosing to numb out or distract themselves in any number of ways. in times of growth, they are energized by intimate connection to the others and to the world, feeling fully alive.

this has been incredibly helpful for me to think about. i've often wondered, 'what's wrong with me?' and i'm just now starting to think instead about the unique ways in which we all live and function in this world. my strengths are many - and my weaknesses, once identified, are things that i can continue to learn and grow from.

xo,
b

Hello there, friend,

My kids don't have school this week, so everything feels a little upside down. I always love times we can deviate from the routine, and have extra time for rest and play. We've sat around in our pajamas, spent entire days out exploring, and watched a fair share of movies. But it's Thursday and I'm grateful that Monday's on its way. It takes deviating from the routine to remember why the routine is good for us. Also, with kids here, it feels almost impossible to get anything done.

It reminds me of how good the seasons are for us, how we need winter so we can appreciate spring. We also need the seasons of our own lives -- the time to hustle and the time to wait, the time to rest and the time to dig in, the time to float along and the time to reflect and assess what's going on with us.

The last few months have been kinda dark for me. The winter weather often reflects my mood and I have to work hard not to get overwhelmed by it. The last few days of sunshine have been good for me, especially with the kids home. When I think of them, I think of sunny days spent outside. I think of looseness and laughter. Being with them doesn't always end up this way, but in my mind it always, always does.

xo,
L

hello there, friend,

this winter has been atypical for us. here, in southwestern virginia, we often have a few days sprinkled throughout that remind us of spring - but, for the most part the average daytime temperature is in the 40's. this year i can count on my hands the number of days that have been this cold. it's been in the 50's and 60's almost every day and will be for the foreseeable future.

not every day has sunshine, though. and for me, that's still what brings the world to life. we had a warm and sunny weekend - one where we played croquet and table games, went hiking, and explored nearby city life with relatives we hadn't seen in ages. i logged quite a few miles walking and remembered how good i feel when i use my body.

the long weekend gave our family a chance to reconnect with each other - which is what i'm always longing for. we start a shorter week on the right foot - fueled by kindness, common experiences, and rest.

xo,
b

Hello there, friend,

This weekend was filled with sunlight and made me realized how much I have missed it. I've missed the sun on my face, its warmth and that late evening glow. Sunday afternoon, my husband built a fire in the backyard and we watched the sun set for the first time in months. It felt good to sit outside and breathe the fresh air, and to know that spring really is coming.

I took my camera out this weekend for the first time in nearly a month. All that delicious sunlight was so inspiring. I realized that I hadn't taken a photo of my children in too long, that the days are passing with no documentation. Like you, that used to be such an important part of my life, proof that I was not only living with these little people, but thriving.

It's easy to take photos when things are great, easy to share them online and say life is amazing. But when life is dark and heavy and hard, or when it's boring and you're shuffling from one thing to the next, it's not so easy. We might still look around and feel that swell of gratitude, but we may not take the photo, we may not share. And that doesn't mean we don't feel it; it means that moment was for us alone, not for everyone else.

xo,
L

hello there, friend,

what you say is something i'm struggling with as well. when i share, what's my purpose? do i have to have one? is it enough to notice something and not share it? i think of the adage, "if a tree falls in the woods and no one is there to hear it, does it make a sound?"

long ago, when i first started seeking gratitude, i wanted documentation of the lovely and beautiful, the hilarious, and the mundane. i wanted proof that all the parts of life were beautiful, even if they were messy. taking pictures and sharing them was part and parcel of learning to be grateful and reflective at the end of the day - it helped put my gratitude practice into motion.

what i find now is that there are still times when i want or need that proof, but i question more and more what i'm adding to the already noisy world we live in.

xo,
b

Hello there, friend,

I get tired of being weighed and measured online. I get tired of weighing and measuring. The amount of energy and self-control it takes to manage it all takes an extraordinary amount of strength. After a while it all feels meaningless. What do I actually care about? What is truly meaningful? I've been asking myself this a lot lately, trying to navigate through the rushing waters of the internet. I fear there's no answer, no easy way through.

Where I struggle most is in my own need to create. I know I can create for myself only, but I want to share what I make and do. I also want to know that I'm not just another voice in the crowd making noise for noise's sake. I see too much of that. It makes me weary. Maybe we all need an audience, or maybe the audience is too readily available. We feel like we have to perform. We feel like we have to share.

So I tiptoe, like you do, down the line between real life and the internet, between the full richness of the real world and the constant deluge of information online. I step back and step forward, always aware of where I put my foot and how it feels to be inside or outside of it all. It's a dance, for sure, and even dancers need to sit down and rest once in a while.

xo,
L

hello there, friend,

it's thursday and my mind is busy, full of lots of bits and pieces, list after list, mental and physical. i feel like a carnival attraction keeping too many plates spinning in the air, wondering when one or two will crash. i know sometimes this is just the way life is. and i remind myself that the juxtaposition of this kind of week will allow me to appreciate the weeks that are slower even more.

one of the things i've loved so much about having a technology free day is that i'm having a true sabbath. my mind is getting a break from the relentlessness of news stories, likes, and comparisons. i feel more grounded, clear-minded, and present. my mind slows down in a way i can't quite explain. the chatter stops.

i keep thinking about how important it is that we allow our minds to take a break. whether for a day, part of a day, or even 5-10 minutes. i think about the kinds of things that allow the chatter in my mind to stop for a bit or slow down. like you, using my body for exercise or creativity does this for me. and even on the busiest days, i know i can find a few minutes to walk, to sit in silence, read, or work with my hands.

xo,
b

Hello there, friend,

When my daughter was a baby, I used to take Sundays off of technology too. I had a smartphone then, but my husband didn't. It was easy enough to put it away for the day, so we could focus on family and Sabbath. That, of course, has become more complicated as the years have passed, but I still often find myself leaving my phone somewhere out of reach on purpose to give myself some mental space. I also feel burdened to demonstrate to my children, who are still very young, that life is about more than what technology can offer us. Some days that's harder than others.

I think it's wonderful that your family is taking a technology Sabbath together. I'm also glad to hear that it's drawing you all together. How much richer life is when we get back to basics. I'm realizing more and more the value of working with my hands and body, how rewarding it is. It pulls me out of myself and into the world around me, and I'm enjoying that so much. Just this morning, I spent a half hour shoveling, watching the snow swirl around me, feeling my arms and back move the shovel. I came inside, cheeks rosy and back sweaty, feeling like I had accomplished something important. Rarely do I feel that after sitting with any sort of technology and rarely do I feel it even when I am getting somewhere with my writing. I'm with you on stepping back from it all and zeroing in on what's life giving. I want more of that.

xo,
L